November 23 (Day 30) And Across the Finish Line We Go...

My first 30 Isagenix days are complete.  The cleanse process works well for me and here are (for reference) my starting and finishing statistics.

WEIGHT AND MEASUREMENTS TRACKER
	DAY 1	DAY 30	TOTAL
DATE	24/10/2013	22/11/2013
BODY FAT %	50	47	3
WEIGHT	230	214	16
NECK	16.875	15.563	1.313
UPPER ARM (LEFT)	14.500	13.250	1.250
UPPER ARM (RIGHT)	14.375	13.563	0.813
CHEST	46.500	44.750	1.750
DIAPHRAGM	41.125	38.250	2.875
WAIST (at belly button)	54.500	40.375	14.125
ABDOMEN	48.063	45.438	2.625
BUTTOCKS	46.500	44.000	2.500
UPPER THIGH (LT)	28.500	24.938	3.563
UPPER THIGH (RT)	29.000	25.188	3.813
CALF (LEFT)	17.125	16.500	0.625
CALF (RIGHT)	17.500	16.438	1.063
UPPER KNEE (LEFT)	20.000	18.313	1.688
UPPER KNEE (RIGHT)	20.500	18.250	2.250
TOTAL INCHES	415.063	374.813	40.250

I'm sorry the copy/paste didn't make it look any better - in a pinch (and early in the morning) this is the best I can produce for you right now.

The bottom line is that I have taken off 3% body fat, 16 pounds and a little over 40 inches.  As you can see, the measurements cover a whole bunch of different areas.

So where does this leave me with the experiment? I'm going to keep going.  Ideally I should be between 130 and 140 pounds and, of course, we all have that magic number of 20-25% body fat... I'm a woman in my 40's so that particular ideal may not be realistic for me... but the bottom line is that I still have a long way to go before I hit my own personal goals.

I took last night and will take today "off" cleansing - I had a (month long) brutal craving for Chicken Korma, rice and Naan bread through almost the whole cleanse and bought that from our local Indian restaraunt last night and celebrated with a plate of that and a pint of Strongbow cider.  After dinner I went outside and chopped wood for an hour - not enough cardio to justify that particular meal, but since I still have about 4 truck loads worth of wood out there to split, I am going to just be "OK" with eating some of the things I want to eat only for today. Surprisingly, though, there aren't any sweets on the list of things I want at the moment!! Tomorrow I will get right back to cleansing so that I can continue as I have started.

I will leave you with something I use for setting my own personal goals in hopes that, if you are reading this and want to set some specific goals of your own (be they weight loss or any other goals you have) remember to always make your goals SMART ones. Essentially SMART goals are:

• Specific - the goal should be as specific as possible - if manifesting a thing, get creative!
• Measurable - have numbers attached!!
• Achievable - whatever the goal may be, it needs to be something doable. a half marathon is doable in 3 months, with training... it is not doable in one week without training at all...
• Realistic - as for this one, I ask myself "is the goal realistic to my life, to what I am able to do for myself and for others and am I being honest with myself in the time frames?"
• Time Oriented - ALWAYS have a goal date - this allows for time lining backward. Project management 101 comes into play here - setting those time lines and milestones WORKS!

All the best in your journeys - wherever they may take you.

If you have enjoyed my writing and would like to read more about my ongoing journey, I invite you to check out my ongoing and long-term blog at :SeaDreamersDreams It is a mish-mash of things that happen in my daily life - projects I am working on and snippets about things I am learning and enjoying. 

November 21 & 22 (days 28 & 29)

30 day journey is almost over.

Work has been crazy busy these last few days and so by the time I have been getting home, having dinner and relaxing a bit, well, blog posting hasn't been on the top of my list...

Some observations from the last 30 days:

• with the exception of the first couple of days, the calorie reduction and change in eating habits hasn't left me hungry
• yes, deep cleanse days are different - but honestly, I seem to manage them well and because I was drinking lots of water and having the approved snacks throughout the day, I was actually not hungry - and I am surprised over that discovery.
• oh - cleanse days DO leave me feeling really cold.
• I have been sleeping better - deeper, better quality sleep.
• I am feeling more energetic throughout the day - busy days at work don't leave me feeling completely wiped out and my stress levels seem to be lower (and with the job change on the immediate horizon, this IS a plus)
• I have measurable weight AND inch loss - my trousers are now officially in need of replacement with a smaller size!
• my double chin is all but gone!

While I haven't noticed any difference in my skin (this is also something that some people have mentioned) I have to admit that I also haven't paid any attention to that.

Being on this program has forced me to look at a few things in my life that I haven't given consideration to ever before. It has forced me to make some better meal choices and also forced me to ensure that I plan meals ahead of time.  I am making wiser choices and I am trying to be more CONSCIOUS of the things I am doing for my health.  For ME

Final post with all of my pre and post 30 day challenge measurements and results will be posted some time on Sunday.

Thanks for listening! 

November 20 (Day 27)

This morning was day 2 of the "get out of bed and go for your walk BEFORE anything else and HO-LY CRAP it was cold out there this morning! I tell you this, I was most DEFINITELY awake when I got back into the house!  It was clear as a bell and sunny most of yesterday so there wasn't any icy bits - thank God - because Jasmine and I POWERED through today's walk in record time!

4 days left (including today - it is 7 AM here) on this cleanse.

So what do I want to accomplish in 4 days? Well, at this point I want to stay as stress-light as possible... I know I won't stay stress free - the last 4 days of this cleanse with last 4 days in this office... there is a lot I need to wrap up in the next 4 days and I just need to keep myself  "up for the task."

So how am I going to do that?  For one thing, I just placed an order for some additional Isagenix products... I have enough here for my next 30 day cleanse already, but if I'm going to succeed (and not have any freak-out stress eating days where McDonalds sounds better than a chocolate shake on the way home from work) I'm going to need some extra ammunition... and so have ordered a couple of "extras" as well as another 30 day cleanse kit (with the shakes in packet form for easy transport for the new dinner regime) so that I have some extra energy and vitamin support on hand.

At this point I'm trying out some of the other products ordered including their Brain Boost and Sleep combination, some of their vitamins (I'm curious about Product B and Telomere (sp?) support) and also their powdered fruits and powdered greens. Oh, and I ordered more fibre snacks - the Peanut Chocolate Chews are addictive and remind me of a peanut butter cookie (with crunchy peanut butter) mixed with chocolate chips... it takes care of some of my sweet tooth needs...

Anyhow, 4 days until the "final weigh in" and last set of measurements.  Saturday morning will be a busy one!

Oh - and one of the gals I work with cornered me yesterday and told me that she hadn't seen me in a week and that the changes to my shape are really starting to be noticeable...

November 19 (Day 26)

With the new job starting a week from yesterday, I'm making some small changes this week to how I manage some of my time. 

I'm still up at 5:30 in the morning - that's a given.  I'm used to it and having the 2+ hours to wake up, have breakfast, walk the dog and get ready before leaving for work is just something that I need now.  When I first incorporated this plan into my routine (MANY years ago) people thought I was nuts.  I suspect there are many people out there who still do... but this is just something that works for me and helps me start my day right.

The changes I am making this week are not to the amount of time I spend on things, but rather the order in which I am doing them. Today is day 1 of the new schedule and here's the thing.  It isn't a big change - all I did was put the dog walk at the beginning of the schedule. It wasn't frozen or raining (now becoming the norm for here in winter) and so we did a pretty good pace and I was home and having my shake before 6:30.  This timing change will actually allow me to start incorporating longer walks a couple of mornings a week once we start getting into spring light and temperatures - even with having to add a 40+ minute drive to my mornings.

I'm constantly surprised at how small changes can make such big differences.  Maybe that is part of what this is about - learning how to make small changes that make big differences over time.

And hey - my double chin is actually almost gone!  My boobs are shrinking too - that's no cool - but the freedom from my double chin is most definitely a cool thing!

November 18 (Day 25) Coming into the Home Stretch

Last night I read through my posts from the beginning... The biggest thing I think I noticed is that there has been a change in my tone.  I don't sound quite as angry or sarcastic in the recent posts as I did at the beginning.  I suspect part of that is that I am feeling something that I haven't felt in a really long time: HOPE.

As I come into the home stretch (to be clear, from the experiment of the 30 day cleanse and trying a new system - not the final stretch of these new habits I am trying to incorporate into my life) I am reminded that sometimes the goal isn't the most important thing.  Sometimes the journey you have to travel to get there is the most important thing.

This journey has been one of learning (and since I love to learn, this journey is a treat) and I think I am starting to learn some things that I haven't actually learned before.  People have tried to teach me, but for one reason or another, I just wasn't able to absorb the truth of those lessons.

Once upon a time I was a runner.  My knees aren't bio-mechanically made to be a runner - so I cannot be a runner any more.  I miss running.  I miss the meditation of the breathing and putting one foot in front of the other.  I miss it dreadfully. When I was learning to run (yes, I had to actually learn how to do it) I remember my first interval was 5 minutes running followed by a minute of walking recovery time.  5 and 1.  5 and 1.  5 and 1. The very first night I thought I was going to die - I had a stitch in my side, was wearing old sneakers that should have been thrown away years before, a bra with no support... suffice it to say, it was miserable. Do you want to know what got me through it? I said one thing to myself then, that I still use today.  "Erin, you can do ANYTHING for 5 minutes.  This is nothing.  It is 5 little minutes.  You can do ANYTHING for 5 minutes!"

If you read my other blog (SeaDreamersDreams - also at blogspot) you will know I am in love with lists and SMART goals and a whole pile of other stuff that I have learned over time - stuff that works for me.  I have a long list beside me right now. With the exception of one item on the list, everything is written in red ink.  The one thing on my list in black ink is this: "Do this one day at a time."

I guess that's what the last 25 days have taught me - and that is what I will take into the home stretch of this cleanse and then beyond into the next 30 days.

Do this one day at a time.

I can do anything one day at a time - ANYTHING.

November 16 & 17 (Days 23 & 24)

I caved.

I stood on the scale this morning and did all of my measurements.  Yeah yeah, I know I was going to wait until day 30 - blah blah blah.  I decided I wanted to know, TODAY, where I stand.

Plus, next Saturday morning (official day 30) is going to be a bitch of a morning for me, so I thought it couldn't hurt to do something today and see where things are actually at.

Officially I started at 50% body fat. 230 pounds and overall measurements came in at a total of 415.063 inches. Yes, I am Canadian and yes, I am doing this in inches and pounds. 415.063 inches is scary - the centimetre number is 1054.26 CM - that's HORRIFYING to me. Yes, I know it is exactly the same but still...

 Today I measured at 47% - that's a 3% overall loss.

Today I weighted in at 215.5 pounds - a 14.5 pound loss.

Today I measured in at 378.750 inches - a 36.313 inch loss. That's a little over three FEET of inches lost.

I have also been giving more thought to the question of what is my "why" a hard question, for me, to answer truthfully.  You want to know why?

Looking back at pictures of my younger self - my self of 20 years ago... I was gorgeous. I was confident and I was FULL of piss and vinegar.  I was vibrant and I had a damn good idea of my place in the world. Where I wanted to be and how I was going to get there. Somewhere along the way she lost confidence.  She got smacked around by love a couple of times - quite badly - and she started to feel she wasn't worth it - she wasn't good enough and she never would be good enough.  So she made friends with chocolate cake, cookies, chips and candy. The never left her, they never made her feel like she wasn't *enough* and they NEVER cheated on her.

I wish I had a time machine - that I could go back and put my arms around her and tell her that this is not all there is - that there is so much joy to be had and to PLEASE not give up on herself, on love or on any of her REAL dreams.

I have no time machine.  I can't do that.  And quite frankly, she was (OK, still is) a damn stubborn rock-headed twit sometimes, and probably wouldn't have listened to me anyhow.  God knows, she didn't listen to other people who tried to tell her that "this isn't all there is!!"

So here is is.  Here is my why - all laid out, fat and naked on the kitchen floor.

I want to be the woman who stands up front and laughs in pictures - not the one I am - the one who tries to hide behind pets, children, objects and other people.

I want to be able to go for a long walk, or a long bike ride with other people without being scared I am holding people up (or worse, scared they can hear me huffing and puffing while I TRY and keep up.)

I want to be the woman who walks into a room and feels confident that people see me for the person I AM, not the weight I am carrying around with me - and all of the things that that weight means.

I want to go out there and DANCE, damn it - not to stay home and just wish I was out dancing.

I am so much more than this.  I am so much better than this. Its time for me to stand up and prove to ME that I am worth it, that I am special, that I am all of the things that I hope I am and think I could be.

This is my "why"  The "why" I have had so much trouble admitting to. The "why" I have spent so much time and energy being scared that maybe I  wasn't worth, or deserving of.  The "why" that I am tired of trying to hide.

Admitting to it is scary as hell, but surprisingly, not as painful as I thought it might be.

November 13, 14 & 15 (Days 21 - 23)

Holy smokes - time is running away from me - FAST!

My 30 days cleanse is 23 days into process now and I have officially made it a habit (it takes 21 days to make a habit) and things have been REALLY busy for me these last few days...  But I managed to listen to Wednesday night's coaching call and also to pay attention to some of the little video clips that my coaching team has been sending out.

Some of the gleanings this week that have been provoking thought are:

1) What is my "why" for doing this?

Off the top of my head my biggest "why" is myself.  I haven't been happy for a long time and have known for a long time that part of my unhappiness has been linked to how I have been feeling about myself.  I couldn't fit my clothes properly) and I HATE shopping for clothing - a by product of how I feel about how I look.

Smaller "why" reasons include my family - my nephew in particular.  That little boy has been the very centre point in my heart since the day he was born.  He looks at me with love.  He sees me as his perfect auntie an I don't ever EVER want that little face to see me the way I have been seeing myself.  I want to be the best me possible - so I can live a long life and watch him grow.

Those are a couple of my "whys"

Tonight's video clip was all about habits, starting them, changing them and setting myself up for success.

Tonight's steps included:

1) Writing out a list of habits I want to create in my life.

2) Choosing 1 habit to do consistently for 1 month

3) Linking a new habit (or behaviour) with a current neutral behaviour that I am already doing

4) Tackling 1 new habit every month.

The "jumping off" point is making that list of habits.

- I want to get exercise of some sort EVERY day

- I want to feed myself with better choices - meaning that I will need to research and try new recipes

- I want to start LEARNING again - not just work related, but external and personal interest learning

- I want to get myself out there and actually be open to starting to meet men again.

Starting with the top of the list.  That is my immediate challenge to myself.  exercise EVERY day.  The easiest way for me to start with this one is to ensure that I walk my gorgeous dog each and every day - not just on work days.  30 minutes, first thing every morning.

Wish me luck!