October 29 (day 6 - back to shakes)

It's funny - I woke up around 3 AM (cat decided she wanted out) and my belly was gurgling. Not hungry gurgling - just air making its way around I guess. I'm still more than a little surprised at how not hungry I was through the cleanse. I don't understand it, but somehow it worked.

I decided to cheat a little and weight myself this morning before breakfast (and a cup of coffee - woo hoo - coffee!!) just to see where things stand.  Apparently coffee drinking can impede results and I wanted to be sure that I wasn't screwing myself over by having coffee in the morning before and with breakfast.

OH. MY. GOD.  I just took that first sip and I think my heart stopped with joy...

It appears I haven't been (screwing myself with coffee) - I'm down 8.5 pounds. Hold on, hold on, - don't get too excited - at least half of that is water weight. Having said that, 4 pounds of fat in 6 days is still above average loss. Now I'm eager to see what day 11's measurements bring... Day 11 would normally be the second morning of the second deep cleanse - but my second deep cleanse isn't going to be this coming weekend (I'll have company) it will be the following weekend.

This was good incentive to continue.

So what was my actual motivation to start?

When I was on Jenny Craig there was a saying someone gave me - nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. To be clear, I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be significantly slimmer than I am now - and healthy. I want to be healthy. 

When I saw my doctor in February he told me I was officially pre-diabetic and was at the stage where I HAVE to do something about my weight - I was (and am) officially obese - like I said in the Day 1 Post, 230 pounds was my start weight. On a female 5'6" frame that is too much. My scale also does a body fat percentage thing - the initial reading was 50%. I want to get down to 20% or 21%.

I don't feel good.I tire out way too easily.I feel ungainly and awkward and ugly and unattractive.I don't sleep deeply or well.

I don't want to use the word depressed - to me that is a word that describes a condition much different from how I feel. I guess being this size just makes me sad.

Anyhow, the first 5 days are down. 25 to go. Time to start revisiting and re-writing my S.M.A.R.T. goals - this set is definitely measurable!

***

Wow.  Today was a test and a half - and I'm DAMN happy I decided to weigh in this morning - it was motivation galore!

We are hosting a small business fair this week and outside my office all day today was a bakery table (they live up to their name; Heavenly Goodies) AND a popcorn machine!

Geez - how much testing did I REALLY need?

I escaped the delicious aromas at lunch and went grocery shopping - I picked up the fixin's to make vegetarian lasagna and also some of the needed things to make stuffed chicken breasts - both meals I found online... I admit it - I licked the ricotta cheese out of the tub when I was finished with it.  GOD it tasted good.  It's 5 to 7 now and the lasagna won't be ready for another 15 or 20 minutes yet, but I'm looking forward to it BIG TIME since I missed out on my morning snack because I was too busy and forgot to eat.

At 200 calories per portion (I am guessing mine will be a little more than that because i used more mozzarella cheese than the recipe called for) I can indulge... I plan to have  BIG piece and lots of water... the rest will be frozen in lunch-sized portions when the pan cools.