Last night I read through my posts from the beginning... The biggest thing I think I noticed is that there has been a change in my tone. I don't sound quite as angry or sarcastic in the recent posts as I did at the beginning. I suspect part of that is that I am feeling something that I haven't felt in a really long time: HOPE.
As I come into the home stretch (to be clear, from the experiment of the 30 day cleanse and trying a new system - not the final stretch of these new habits I am trying to incorporate into my life) I am reminded that sometimes the goal isn't the most important thing. Sometimes the journey you have to travel to get there is the most important thing.
This journey has been one of learning (and since I love to learn, this journey is a treat) and I think I am starting to learn some things that I haven't actually learned before. People have tried to teach me, but for one reason or another, I just wasn't able to absorb the truth of those lessons.
Once upon a time I was a runner. My knees aren't bio-mechanically made to be a runner - so I cannot be a runner any more. I miss running. I miss the meditation of the breathing and putting one foot in front of the other. I miss it dreadfully. When I was learning to run (yes, I had to actually learn how to do it) I remember my first interval was 5 minutes running followed by a minute of walking recovery time. 5 and 1. 5 and 1. 5 and 1. The very first night I thought I was going to die - I had a stitch in my side, was wearing old sneakers that should have been thrown away years before, a bra with no support... suffice it to say, it was miserable. Do you want to know what got me through it? I said one thing to myself then, that I still use today. "Erin, you can do ANYTHING for 5 minutes. This is nothing. It is 5 little minutes. You can do ANYTHING for 5 minutes!"
If you read my other blog (SeaDreamersDreams - also at blogspot) you will know I am in love with lists and SMART goals and a whole pile of other stuff that I have learned over time - stuff that works for me. I have a long list beside me right now. With the exception of one item on the list, everything is written in red ink. The one thing on my list in black ink is this: "Do this one day at a time."
I guess that's what the last 25 days have taught me - and that is what I will take into the home stretch of this cleanse and then beyond into the next 30 days.
Do this one day at a time.
I can do anything one day at a time - ANYTHING.
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